Beauty & The Beast...

As a child or even as an adult, I’ve not been blessed with beauty (meaning attractiveness, good looks, captivating appearance and when society look at you they go wah or aaah or wow... aaawooooo). In comparison to my sister, I’m like down there and she’s like up there. She was and still is the beautiful one even when we were young as toddlers as babies as teenagers. Her enchanting smile, the sparkle in her eyes everytime she give that ever enthralling smile, her gentleness and kind-heartedness and sensitivity… She’s the perfect girl any parents would love to have and I adore her as well as she was and still is the most wonderful sister a girl could ever have in her life. Jealous? Never! I’m never jealous of her, why should I? But instead I’m proud to be her sister.

I was a chubby child and when I say chubby I don’t mean overweight or obese, just very round face with very round tummy and always have funny hair. I remember when I was about 8 or 9 years old, I wanted to perm my hair like sis. I wanted to feel what it’s like to have permed hair. We had our hair permed at this Nyonya’s beauty salon – or was it my aunt that did the perm for us? Well, anyway, sis permed hair turned out beautiful! Curls looked in place, very neatly and nicely done, all nice and curled up and springy, I mean she looked amazing and when it was my turn to reveal, it was ghastly! I hated it! I loathed it! I felt like running to the river and just drown myself… The shame, the horror… Why oh why do they invent this 'perm' in the 80s? It was finely curled and if you know how Maggi Mee looks like after it’s cooked, then that’s how my hair turned out – like curled up cooked Maggie Mee… There was nothing I can do. Mak told me that if I want to get rid of the curls FAST, I needed to wash my hair almost every day and every night, which I did – like frenzied! During that time, we don’t have and know the existence of a hair straightener so that was the only way that I could straighten my hair back to normal. I vowed to myself never in a million years would I perm or curl my hair ever again… Once bitten twice shy, heck it’s triple, quadraple shy!

Though I’ve never been blessed with exterior beauty or captivating smile and the lembutness of a lady (I’m more of a tomboy that time) I suppose one thing that I’ve been blessed with is my sense of humour. Believe it or not I’m a funny gal, so I’ve been told! Not blowing my own horn I tell ya, people tell me this thing okay!? One thing about me is, I just love making people laugh… they say I liven up the party – well, sort of… I make people guffaw, I make folks smile and I try to make people feel good about themselves (not in a dodgy way oteh?).

They say laughter is the best medicine and I hold that motto unfailingly… I love to laugh and I like teasing too (in an undamaging way) and I guess that’s why when you see me, you’ll notice that my face is round and my belly is round due to the cause of laughing too much… Sometimes I wish that I could be an entertainer – never mind what sort of entertainer, just someone who can make a difference, someone who can make people feel special… Hmmmm… doesn’t sound appropriate does it? Well you all know what I mean…

Anyway, what’s in an appearance, what’s in a beauty? The most important thing in life is how the heart works… You know, pum, pum pum… It’s how you potray yourself, your manner, your actions, your deeds, your sincerity to the people around you or even to strangers. I always believe that if you do good to others, others will return that goodness to you… Learn to love yourself before you can learn to love others… I never use to love myself when I was a teenager or a young girl, very self-conscious you know! I tried to be someone I’m not… I tried to be like my sister – prim and proper, soft spoken, gentle and tender loving… but I soon realise that I’m not her and I won’t be able to be like her coz I’m an individual… Though I am also a gentle and tender loving gal by nature… not really a soft spoken person though, the opposite… Accepting and embracing who I really am. Taking in any criticism with a positive approach. Criticism is good as you take it all into account and analyse it ourselves optimistically.

I learn from all the asinine mistakes that I made in the past and never to repeat the same mistakes again though it’s always easy to fall in that slip-up but don’t despair… Never give up hope…

I love my life at this moment and I am ever so grateful to the Almighty for giving me all that I have right now – my true Religion, my parents, my husband, my sister & Abg Ed, my niece & nephew, my PIL, my BIL, my old and new found friends, … I’m just blessed that I’m surrounded with people that I love and whom I hope will love me back for who I am…

So, who's the beauty and who's the beast?