How I wish...

I wish and I pray, I wish again and I pray again… And again, and again, and again… I waited… I wait and wait and wait… Never ending wait and so we wait some more…

But will it ever come? Will it be given to us? Do we deserve to have it? Are we competent enough? Are we both responsible enough to take up this huge sense of duty? Is he ready? He did say he is but… he did say he does want it… he says this and he says that… I say that and this… Are you trying to tell us something? Questions after questions after another

We have to wait and see… wait and wait and wait all over again… I’m hating this waiting game but that’s the deal, we have to wait and be patience… Patience, yes, I have that… I have plenty of patience in my body, in my soul. Patience is a virtue and so we will endure it all.

They say expect the unexpected… but it’s just not possible for me to do that! I tried but it’s not possible! I always expect it but it never happen… Am I being just a stupid big girl? He says not to tell anyone until we’re 100% certain… I promise I won’t dear, I promise! We will give them a surprise but then dear, when?

Are we okay? We are healthy, we are okay… Is there any problem you think? Lets hope not darling!

I’m terrified actually. Terrified of what, I don’t know to be frank… Maybe afraid that we won’t be able to, maybe afraid that there’s something wrong with us, maybe afraid that we’re not meant to have what we want… I know you want it darling but not as much as I yearn for it!

I’m a desperado on my own… Desperate to own it, to hold it, to care for it, to love it… I’m just desperate to hear it’s cry, it’s laughter, it’s voice… I’m just desperate, anxious, eager!
I am, I am, I just am!